


Up to Eleventy-Billion

by DoreyG



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Drinking, Ensemble Cast, Everybody finds Steve hot, F/M, Flirting, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2748650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Okay,” Tony says, spinning back to the group the moment the door closes, “on a scale of one to eleventy-<i>billion</i>, how hot is Rogers?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up to Eleventy-Billion

“Okay,” Tony says, spinning back to the group the moment the door closes, “on a scale of one to eleventy- _billion_ , how hot is Rogers?”

“Er,” Bruce says, looking a little surprised at the question, “about… A seven, probably?”

“A _seven_? Seriously, Banner, I’m starting to doubt your sense of taste,” Tony throws up his hands, shakes his head before Bruce can do more than splutter a slightly annoyed laugh, “and, no, I _don’t_ want to hear the third straight lecture on what your type is. Any more sensible takers?”

“Nine,” Thor booms, setting his glass on the table – thankfully shattering neither of them in the process – and leaning back with a wide smile upon his lips, “Steve Rogers has a most pleasing figure, manly in the very best of ways. If it was not for my deep and abiding love for my own darling one-“

“Yeah, Shakespeare, I also don’t need another monologue on how Jane is the perfect woman,” Tony snorts, flails his hands again – only receives a slow duck of Thor’s head in reply, a lazy grin that clearly speaks of the ability to demolish buildings, “although pretty close there, good catch buddy. Anybody else!”

“Ten,” Rhodey offers thoughtfully, and downright _cackles_ when every head in the room swivels in his direction, “what, can’t a guy be bisexual in this day and age? He was my first crush, I had his poster in my room all through-“

“Your teenage wanking phase, I did _not_ need to extrapolate that,” Tony makes a face, ignores the simultaneous snorts from both Clint and Rhodey and spins on again – opening his arms wide like he’s found some magical way to erase memories through exuberance, “come on, _onwards_. There must be _somebody_ with some imagination around here-!”

“And it’s obviously not you, Stark,” Natasha purrs, rolling her eyes and deliberately smirking when Tony spins to _glare_ at her, “I’ll bite. Eleventy-billion, whatever that means – he has a nice ass.”

“And… Of course you have been staring, you probably have surveillance pictures of _all_ our asses. You probably forced Clint to take them when he ran out of arrows, or something,” Tony only coughs in reply, attempts another glare – rather overshadowed by Clint’s effort – and spins back to the room like a conductor, flailing his arms before the big announcement, “well, in my own _personal_ opinion…”

“Is there a number above ‘eleventy-billion’?”

There’s a long pause.

“…Okay,” Tony demands, spinning back to the window with a scowl on his lips – proclamation ruined, giggles already sounding behind him, “who the _hell_ let the metal-armed assassin guy in?”


End file.
